Awakened

Well, girls and boys, I am back in the old town of Henderson. I got in yesterday around four o’clock. I unpacked, freshened up, and then proceeded to head out with Tabitha Florida, my beloved seester. Yes, dear readers, I had already made plans to hang out with Tabitha. I believe we made them about a week ago, but hey, when you are such a popular person, you have to make your plans ahead of time. You’re calendar is always filling up so quickly. Tabitha and I continued onward into Jackson. After much debating as to our level of hunger, we decided to postpone eating dinner and to commence the second part of our plans: hunting. What were we hunting? Movies.

You see: Tabitha and I have an addiction (technically, we have multiple addictions, but for the sake of time, I’m only going to write about one). It isn’t a terrible addiction. We’re not alcoholics, damaging our livers with a sometimes sweet, sometimes not burning liquid. We’re not addicted to any type of illegal, mind-altering substance. No, Tabitha and I are addicted to movies. Whenever I’m in Henderson, we go to Jackson–almost daily–and scope out the sales. We even have hunting grounds, stores that we always visit when feeding out addiction. It may not be a glamorous lifestyle, but it is ours.

There was a special reason for this hunting party. As some of you may know, I recently reached the two hundred mark. That’s right. I am the proud owner of (now over) two hundred movies; however, despite this amazing accomplishment, I am unhappy. “Why is she unhappy?” You ask yourself. I am unhappy, dear readers, because my case, which contains my alphabetically sorted collection, has four empty slots. Yes, I only need four more movies to completely fill my movie case. When I discovered this fact, I made a goal for myself. During my week in Henderson, I would buy four new movies. I would fill the case. Once I made this goal for myself, I began composing a list in my mind. What movies did I want? They couldn’t be just any movies. No, they had to be perfect movies, just like my 200^th movie (Bridesmaids).

As I was constructing my list, I had a revelation. There was one movie I had to have. This movie was the movie to end all movies. This movie had it all: a post-apocalyptic setting, blood, a Gothic vibe, and singing. For those of you who know me, I’m sure you’re thinking, “Wow, someone made a movie for Taylor.” Those were my thoughts exactly, readers. Unfortunately, my discovery of this movie took some time. It was released years ago. I believe it was four years ago, yet the first time I watched it was Monday. This movie was not unknown to me, readers. I would see it everywhere. I admit: I was intrigued by this movie. I remember on several occasions picking it up and glancing at the description on the back, but I never followed through with my curiosity. I always put it back. I was a fool, readers.

I’m sure you’re wondering what this movie is. What movie could possible capture my heart in only an hour and a half? I will tell you. That movie is Repo! The Genetic Opera. The storyline: “In the year 2056 - the not so distant future - an epidemic of organ failures devastates the planet. Out of the tragedy, a savior emerges: GeneCo, a biotech company that offers organ transplants, for a price. Those who miss their payments are scheduled for repossession and hunted by villainous Repo Men. In a world where surgery addicts are hooked on painkilling drugs and murder is sanctioned by law, a sheltered young girl searches for the cure to her own rare disease as well as information about her family’s mysterious history. After being sucked into the haunting world of GeneCo, she is unable to turn back, as all of her questions will be answered at the wildly anticipated spectacular event: The Genetic Opera.:

I watched this movie in awe, wondering how I could have ever looked over this amazing film. When it was done, I frantically texted Tabitha, ordering her to watch Repo! She has yet to do so, but that’s beside the point. I had to have this film, readers. It would be the perfect addition to my collection, so when Tabitha and I headed to Jackson, I knew I would have to find Repo!

We began at Target. I glanced over several films, keeping my eyes open for Repo! It wasn’t there. I considered buying one movie, but Tabitha informed me that there was a sale at Blockbuster (buy two, get two) and that said film might be there. We headed to Blockbuster. The previously mentioned film was not there, and neither was Repo! Nothing caught my eye, and, since we were still not hungry, we ventured forth to Wal-Mart (North). I had always seen Repo! at Wal-Mart. I thought going there would ensure that I found the film. I was wrong. Heartbroken, I couldn’t bring myself to purchase another movie. Even though Priest was only $10, I didn’t buy it. It just felt wrong. Tabitha assured me that we would try Wal-Mart (South) as we were leaving Jackson. It was going to be a sure thing.

Our hunger growing, we decided to eat. We went to Olive Garden and were thrilled to discover that the Shrimp Mezzaluna was back. It is without a doubt one of the most delicious dishes on the face of this planet. I savored each and every bite, but I digress. After finishing our meal and feeling much better about life, we went to Best Buy. Was Repo! there? No, it was not. The sales weren’t very good, so once again, I bought nothing. We next went to Books-a-Million, but that’s merely a side note. Finally, we stopped at Wal-Mart (South). This was it, readers. This was my last chance to find Repo! We headed toward the movies. I looked through row after row, but alas, Repo! was nowhere to be found. In a last, desperate attempt to appease my growing anger, Tabitha suggested we try Movie World. To save on time (I cannot believe this thing is so long), I’ll cut to the chase. It wasn’t there.

I refuse to give up, readers. I have to have Repo! I have to fill the case. I have one week. Happy Hunting…